Six Words

I took the path less traveled.

Let me explain.

At school, my advisory consists of 11th and 12th grade students. A Big Picture graduation requirement is for the seniors to write a 75 page autobiography. Because my students have not been with us for four years (our school is only 2 years old) we have modified the assignment, but none the less, the students are still learning how to write about themselves and capture their experiences.

This year, our school got in contact with an organization at Columbia Teachers College called the Student Press Initiative (SPI). Long story short, the seniors are getting their work published! So awesome. Last week included me traveling to NYC to meet and learn about the process and taking my students to another Big Picture Newark school to kick off the book. I have continued to get more excited about this real, authentic project for the kids. Students who are barely invested in reflecting were excited to share and think more about their lives. The coolest part of our time working with the students was when they wrote their 6-word memoirs. These short phrases will turn into the title of their autobiographical piece.

The director of SPI, Mr. Chen, introduced this idea of a story in 6 words by discussing great conflicts. Especially that between Tupac and Biggie. He then related it further back in history to a rivalry between 2 authors, Hemingway and Faulkner, over the power of lengthy descriptions vs. short words. Hemingway was challenged by a local paper to write a novel... in only 6 words.

His story read as follows:

"For sale: Baby shoes. Never worn."

Mr. Chen shared this with the students. They didn't know what to think or say. But as the discussion continued, I watched one of my students boldly try to unpack the phrase. The others followed suite and spoke about what they thought the meaning was. Mr. Chen then compared the power of words to that of an iceberg. Students worked through what this comparison meant. One student hit it dead on, that stories and words can be unexpectedly powerful.

The morning ended with a challenge to the students to write their own 6-word memoirs. I participated, and try as I might, I was unable to come up with some of the powerful things that the students created in only 10 minutes. Here were some of the titles that they shared:

After the rain, comes the sun.

Everyone dies. But not us yet.

Unspoken words are the most important.

Broken to pieces. Pasted back together.

The person I thought I was.

Don't let the smile fool you.

Mom and dad, please come home.

The list continued and as the students confidently shared pieces of who they were, I couldn't help but get excited for them as I got chills from hearing their words. Students who hate doing work and are obstinate and stubborn were creating bone-chilling, powerfully packed, short phrases because someone validated their voice. Someone cared enough to hear what they have to say to publish their words in a book. That's some pretty powerful stuff.

This weekend, I have been thinking about what my 6-word memoir would be. When compared with my student's powerful, tear-jerking life experiences, mine seem obsolete and quite silly. My life has been a piece of cake when put in contrast with the things my students have had to go through. But, my story is part of God's story. My story is indeed unique because God has redeemed my path. I may not have had the trials and tribulations of inner city childhood, but I have made some hard, radical choices that took me out of my comfort zone. Through it all, God has directed my steps and brought blessings because of the road that I have chosen.

I took the path less traveled.

I can only pray that my students will some day find that there is a great path marked out for them. As I continue to learn and grow in my faith and discover what it means to follow God's path for my life, I hope that His grace will some day weave into their stories as well.

Is It Well?

I sometimes listen to music on my daily commute into Newark. It takes anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes depending on the traffic. The music ranges from the local radio stations to my worship CDs. Recently I've been listening to a free CD my mom gave me (amidst a stack that she sometimes gifts that includes random assortments from terrible 80s worship music to some really great stuff all in cracked CD cases which makes me wonder how they ended up with my mom). The past few weeks the selection has been from the Kutless worship album. I love it.

The first song has been really making me think and reflect and ponder during my drives to and fro. It is well. With my soul. It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Which makes me wonder, is it really that well with my soul? If I lost everything, what would I do? What if I lost my family? What if I lost my job? My friends? My church home? AJ? What would I do?

In college my immediate response was to trust in the Lord. My faith was so new, so fresh, so trusting, so reckless and radical that I would have gone anywhere, done anything for Him. My life has been full of His blessings from amidst the struggles and weaknesses of my life. College, being an RA, working as a camp counselor, serving in Jamaica, moving to New Jersey. My life has been stretched and torn, yet it has always resulted in graceful blessings.

But what about now?

After a year and a half of teaching in the inner city, I'm finding that a lot of my hope and joy has dwindled on a day to day basis. As I reflected one morning in my car, I came to the conclusion that I'm becoming slightly bitter. God has continued to bless me in the midst of my struggles in Newark, and yet have I been grateful? No. It has not been well with my soul for awhile.

Now I'm not suggesting that I've lost my faith or even really doubted God. I also am not saying that I've been miserable. God has continued to give me so many things that I don't deserve and I have been thankful at times and have recognized His love poured out on my life. Yet on a whole I just live my days as if He's not even there. After my morning devotions, I often times won't give Him much more thought for the rest of the day. That inner peace and joy that I experienced a few years ago has faded a bit. It is not so well.

This truth hit me like a ton of bricks. This is not the way I want to live my life. I know it won't be perfect, but I always kind of thought that my relationship with Christ would continue to mature, I never would I have guessed that it would grow so stagnant. (Guess that shows how naive and ignorant I can be, huh?) Talk about conviction.

As I listened to those words and had to replay the song several times to let it sink in, I reflected on the writer of the lyrics. He lost something like almost all of his children, and he was still able to lean on the Lord and trust and exclaim that it was well deep within his soul. Despite the rocky tumultuous waves washing over his life and making it hard to stay afloat, he still had peace in his spirit. I had that. I want that back.

In my reflections I also felt convicted of the fact that it's pretty much my own attitude that has been causing me to feel this way. I look at things more negatively now. I believe that that's a choice. Satan has used my frustrations and bad days to try to drag me away from that inner peace. Every day when I wake up I don't rejoice in a new day, I sigh that I have another day of toil ahead. In moments when someone or some situation is frustrating I don't give it to the Lord, I let it fester in my mind.

As my roomate says, "I need to be more about Jesus."

And that's the truth.

I want to live each day as if God came to earth and lived among sin in order to die the death I deserve. I want to let His light and love shine through my every word and deed. I want to be more full of the Spirit and to recognize and jump at the opportunities He places before me to love and serve others. I want Him to fill my soul. I want to be able to truthfully exclaim that it is, indeed, well with my soul.