12.14.2011

Weary

Well my idea to use photography as an incentive to blog totally didn't work. I also for a moment had the idea of sharing funny student stories... but then never got around to that.

To be honest I am feeling very burdened and weary these past few weeks. My job is wearing on me, I'm stressed way more than I would ever want to admit, and I'm just plain tired. So many students are disrespectful and it's driving me nuts, the administration of NPS is such a mess it gives me a headache just thinking about it, let alone actually having to work in it every day. Internships for the students have been cancelled temporarily until the district "approves" them so our entire school schedule is thrown off, making the weeks extremely long and tiring. And at the end of the day I'm pretty sure that the benefits and "rewards" don't outweigh the amount of work it takes. It doesn't really feel worth it.

All of this is leading me to the conclusion that after 3 years of struggle and frustration perhaps I am not really cut out for inner city education. Maybe that makes me a bad teacher, maybe I'm just too emotional and take things too personally, I don't know. But I do know that I'm tired and feeling burnt out.

Not sure what's next for me, so prayers are appreciated. Hopefully it's just that time of year and things will improve in a month or so. I'll try to keep this updated.

Yet through all the struggle, stress, and tears I can lean on this:

"Then Jesus said, 'Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light." - Matthew 11:28-30