What a day. Woke up earlier than normal to meet a student to take him to his internship. He doesn't show. I get a flat tire. The day continues and my frustration builds as almost every one of my students tells me they're refusing to go to their internships (which we all worked our butts off to get them) because they're bored there and they just don't want to go. Deep breath. Students struggling with emotional home lives. Students dealing with depression. Another deep breath. Two of my students have been kicked out/dropped from the program. Gigantic deep breath. And all I can think is how awesome yesterday was (the 5 students who showed up were perfect pictures of what Big Picture students should be: doing work, participating
in discussions, etc..)... and then I get even more frustrated. Why can't they just continue to make good decisions? Why do I feel like I'm the only one who cares about them doing well? How do you convince a student that he has potential when throughout his entire life he's been told he will fail? Days like today make me want to throw in the towel.
What happened to the peace I was focusing on this morning? In John 14 Christ tells us that He gives us a special gift of peace that is totally different from anything found in this world. I desperately want my students to know that hope and peace as well. It breaks my heart to see them so hopeless sometimes. So as I walked into my apartment after our ridiculously houred school day had ended, I threw down my bag onto the floor and just kind of sat to decompress for a moment and thought about my students. And as soon as I took that moment to really refocus and reflect on the struggles of my students, He reminded me, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness (2 Cor 12:9)." His grace. He is all I need. He is truly where I find my peace in days like today and He can use my weaknesses and my frustrations to shine His love down on my students. Just as He has washed me clean and showers his love and grace upon me, I also need to show grace to my students. I don't know where in the world I got the idea that because they had a few good days they would suddenly be perfect young highschoolers. Because that's all they are. While they are street smart and in some ways years beyond where I am, there are so many things they have not yet wrapped their minds around. And I get the blessed opportunity to share love with them by showing them forgiveness and grace. That's how I can share that peace, by being at peace myself and continuing to support, encourage, and love them.
in discussions, etc..)... and then I get even more frustrated. Why can't they just continue to make good decisions? Why do I feel like I'm the only one who cares about them doing well? How do you convince a student that he has potential when throughout his entire life he's been told he will fail? Days like today make me want to throw in the towel.What happened to the peace I was focusing on this morning? In John 14 Christ tells us that He gives us a special gift of peace that is totally different from anything found in this world. I desperately want my students to know that hope and peace as well. It breaks my heart to see them so hopeless sometimes. So as I walked into my apartment after our ridiculously houred school day had ended, I threw down my bag onto the floor and just kind of sat to decompress for a moment and thought about my students. And as soon as I took that moment to really refocus and reflect on the struggles of my students, He reminded me, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness (2 Cor 12:9)." His grace. He is all I need. He is truly where I find my peace in days like today and He can use my weaknesses and my frustrations to shine His love down on my students. Just as He has washed me clean and showers his love and grace upon me, I also need to show grace to my students. I don't know where in the world I got the idea that because they had a few good days they would suddenly be perfect young highschoolers. Because that's all they are. While they are street smart and in some ways years beyond where I am, there are so many things they have not yet wrapped their minds around. And I get the blessed opportunity to share love with them by showing them forgiveness and grace. That's how I can share that peace, by being at peace myself and continuing to support, encourage, and love them.
No comments:
Post a Comment