Horses

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."

I need to remind myself of this reality every day so that I don't get completely overwhelmed with my job. Every day I go into school and prepare myself for whatever might come my way. Usually it's frustration. As the school year is coming to a close (we only have a month and a half left) I feel like I get more and more discouraged as my students do not live up to their potential. The days are filled with whining attitudes and disrespect as I only try to help push them in their education. Lies abound and makes trusting my students hard. All I want to do is trust them, and sometimes I do so naively and later find that I was completely lied to. This year has been difficult, and some days make that much more apparent than others.

The thing that has probably made it the hardest is that I take my students failures onto myself. It's hard not to do so. I want so many great things for them. I can see their potential, and it's so ridiculously disheartening when they don't see what I see in them and continue to make choices that are not going to lead to good places.

One student who really comes to mind is Stu. Stu is good at saying what needs to be said without actually meaning it. Stu has lied to me time and again. He gets mad and defensive when I don't trust what he says, and yet he has never given me any reason to trust him. And it's hard, because most people at the school have given up on him, but I just can't bring myself to do that. I can see how smart he is. He's good at math and great with words and speaking. He wants to be a forensic scientist, but he has lost hope that that will actually happen. It hurts my heart to see the choices he makes.

It's days like these when Stu's actions just tear down my spirit that it becomes so easy to take on this burden myself. I know I shouldn't, but I do. And so I need to remind myself that I can do everything in my power to lead these kids to success, but I can't force them to do anything, and I can't blame myself when they don't do what I want. I can just love them and pray for them and trust that God's plan is at work. After all, isn't that what God does for us?