Frustration

I am ridiculously frustrated. I am frustrated with our lack of resources (it took them 5 months to give us the space we needed, there's one door out of 4 classrooms, we have no text books, no reading materials, no curriculum access, nothing). I am frustrated with our lack of students (I am down to 5). I'm frustrated that we have no discipline policy (because we're under alternate ed, our principle does not have the authority to actually discipline students). I'm frustrated with the low morale of the staff, including my own. I'm frustrated that Big Picture started a school in Newark with a nontraditional philosophy without making sure that everything that was needed was in place. I'm frustrated that grades are due this week but we still have a full week and 2 days left to do something with students who don't want to be here. I'm frustrated that we did not hit our goals. I'm frustrated that I did not teach my students much academically. I'm frustrated that I am losing motivation. I'm frustrated that I didn't get to teach much math and I'm even more frustrated that it's basically my fault that I didn't do so. I'm frustrated that our school goes from 11:20-5:40 because I'm always exhausted and don't ever feel like doing anything afterwards. I'm frustrated that my students go through so many struggles at home and on the streets and there's nothing I can do to help them. I'm frustrated that this world is so full of sin and that we, as humans, caused it/chose it. I become more and more frustrated that my students have to live in this world and that they were not raised to find hope.

But I am thankful that there is hope. I'm thankful that Christ is returning some day to rescue us from this broken world. I'm thankful that God also feels this heartbreak, infinity-fold and is crying with us. I'm thankful for God's unfailing love for both me and my students. I'm thankful that He is unchanging. I'm thankful that He gives me strength when I'm ready to give up. I'm thankful that He hears my prayers and answers them. I'm thankful for His promises, in which I can place my hope. I'm thankful for the blessings He has given me. I'm thankful for friends from the past and friends that He continues to place in my path. I'm thankful that He brought me to New Jersey and has a purpose through all of this, even if I might never see it. I'm thankful for fellowship and the church. I'm ridiculously thankful for Jacob's Well and the overwhelming encouragement and joy I find in my brothers and sisters there.

I'm thankful for the work we are called to here on this earth.

I'm thankful that we each have a purpose and that we are able to delight and rejoice in the Lord.

I'm thankful that I am forgiven.

I'm thankful that God is greater than my frustrations.